Phew, we seem to have a common thread of men doing things to their penis in the name of vanity … honestly, don’t try this at home!

A Malaysian man who attempted to lengthen his penis in preparation for his upcoming engagement, got a metal nut stuck on it.

The man, a welder, wanted to make his penis bigger. He put a nut on it, intending to weigh it down and hopefully increase its length. What he didn’t count on was getting an erection which then prevented the nut from being removed. When the blood filled the length of the man’s penis, it was unable to flow back and was trapped, causing him pain and embarrassment.

The man was treated in hospital where blood was drained from his penis and a layer of skin removed in order to remove the nut. He and his appendage are recovering in hospital.

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Wow, we’ve had a rash of penis stories lately … we guess it just goes like that! We wonder if this fella ever thought this was going to turn out well …

A 42 year old man who tried to have sex with an exercise bench in a park, had to call police to free him after his penis got stuck.

It is believed that he attempted to use a hole in the 2.5m long metal exercise bench to masturbate in a deserted park after dark.

Emergency workers took four hours to try to free the man by draining blood from his penis, but were unable to. He was taken to hospital by ambulance with the metal sheet still attached. He was released with his penis if not his pride.

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Source: www.brisbanetimes.com.au

A 31 year old moviegoer was shot in the arm following an argument during a screening of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. 

A 29 year old man became angered during the movie, when he asked a man and his family to be quiet and threw popcorn at the man’s son. An altercation became physical when the father of the boy and the man got into an argument. The man produced a handgun, fired it at the father, returned to his seat and continued to watch the film.

He was charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault and weapons violations. The injured man suffered a gunshot wound to his left arm and was treated in hospital for his injuries.

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Source: news.smh.com.au

Several members of an Arizona State University fraternity are believed to have been responsible for a car accident which caused injuries to a woman and her young daughter.

Around 8-10 fraternity members drank and vomited milk onto traffic from a university footbridge. When a woman stopped to avoid the vomit, she was hit from behind by another vehicle, causing minor injuries to herself and her daughter. She was cited for the accident.

Nine members of the fraternity were later arrested on suspicion of disorderly conduct. Police believe the incident was ‘hazing’. Only one active member of the fraternity was arrested with the others being very new members. The fraternity, Delta Sigma Phi, was placed on hold by the University while the investigation took place.

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Source: www.azcentral.com, www.statepress.com

And yet another story of Woftam’s exploring their personal Ninja … or is that Superman, Spiderman … whateva!

A 22 year old man, seriously injured himself whilst attempting to jump a three metre gap between two buildings. He fell approximately five metres to the ground.  

It is believed that he fell from the awning of a building to the ground at around 1.45am. He sustained life threatening injuries and was conveyed to hospital where he was in a serious condition.  

It seems that this practice is a regular occurence in this street, where a local business owner has spotted men leaping between the buildings after scaling the walls. Despite falls through the skylight at his business and gates installed to prevent access to the walls, the practice apparently continues.

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Source: www.brisbanetimes.com.au

31st October 2008, Sheffield, UK

Things that make you go hmmmm ….

When a clergyman in his 50s was forced to attend hospital to remove a potato stuck in his rectum he claimed it got there when he fell on it while attempting to hang curtains naked.

We’re not sure at what point these two Woftams thought this would be funny …

Two boys, aged 17 and 14, set fire to another boy’s hair and filmed it on a mobile phone. The victim was asleep when the older of the two poured lighter fluid on his hair and set it alight. The younger boy filmed the act which shows the 17 year old lighting setting fire to his victim. Other than having singed hair, it is not known what other injuries the victim sustained. Both perps have been charged.

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Source: www.oregonlive.com

The Woftam Awards think this nominee and his friends are a clutch of bad eggs.

Thinking it would be funny to throw eggs at people at a nearby party, they purchased some on the way and threw them at homes and people as they walked along the road. Unfortunately, for one walker, she was egged in the face and sustained permanent damage to her left eye.

The injured woman, in severe pain, was taken to hospital by her husband. The medical report described an extremely large wound to her eye area. She sustained physical damage to the lens of the eye resulting in loss of sight, the need for a prosthetic cover and the possibility the eye may be removed in future.

The victim, a nurse, incurred medical expenses of almost €12,000 and a loss of earnings of €1.5m. Due to her injuries, she is now unable to return to nursing duties.

And how was the identity of this Woftam discovered? A nearby resident whose home had also been egged, noted the vehicle registration number which was used by police to trace the Woftam’s involved.

The egg throwing Woftam admitted his actions to police and was said to be ’shocked when he realised he had thrown it at a grown woman and not another youth’. He escaped a jail term of three years’ with orders for community service. Money the nominee raised as a token of remorse was rejected by the victim and directed by the judge to be donated to charity.

Source: www.herald.ie, www.independent.ie